Cold Front Came Through

I have struggled so much the past couple of days with this beast called Fibromyalgia. The pain has been from my neck down to my knees and everywhere in between. My shoulders burn with pain, my neck so stiff it's hard to turn. My hips can't seem to move and my knees hurt as if something is keeping them from bending.

The struggles have been hard. It's brought on by the change in the weather, good or bad. This time, it was a cold front that came through East Texas. The day before and the day after are always so very hard. The barometer change, changes my life maybe only briefly, but it's a change. It was so very hard to get out of bed yesterday due to my pain. Today, only a small bit of relief is what I am feeling.

I hate what this disease has done to me, my body, my soul and my mind. My body, at times, feels as if I am 90 years old. My soul, broken at times due to the pain and the inability of not being able to do what I enjoy. My mind, because of the fibro fog that I often have. The inability to remember things. The inability to recongize at times what I am doing or where I am. The inability to be in large groups of people. The thought of having a panic or anxiety attack.

It's hard not only on me, but on my family. I know they don't fully understand this disease, I know they never really will. No one knows the pain and suffering everyone with fibormyalgia goes through unless they experience it first hand. I see the look in their eyes at times saying, "just get out of the house" "get up and do something" I see that look, I know that look too well. But, until they have walked in my shoes, felt the pain that I feel, have the fear that I feel, they will never truly understand what I live with every single day of my life!