What a difference!

October 31, 2008, I had a micro-discectomy at T7/T8 location. This surgery had to be done due to a herniated disc which was pressing on my spinal cord. Scared to death of the surgery, looking back it was the best decision I have made for myself since June 2007.

This surgery has changed my life!! Each and every day living with Fibromyalgia has been filled with severe pain all over my body. On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the worst pain ever, on my good days my pain levels were at an 8 and on a bad day it would jump off the track and proceed well above the 10 mark. November 1st as I began to get ready to come home from the hospital, just 24 hours since my surgery, I felt better than I had ever felt before. Each day lead to more improvement and each day led to fewer pain pills and each day became more livable.

Livable, now that's a word that I have not considered in a long time. So long ago that I had forgotten how it felt to be "pain free" or even have less pain and be able to function and do things that I had to give up. Things that I thought I would never be able to do again. Thing that others, living without Fibromyalgia, take for granted. For example, just being able to go to the grocery store and to be able to make it all the way through without being in such pain. Like being able to go outside and walk around and enjoy the sunshine. Like being able to travel and not be in such pain.

If I had known this surgery would help to take my pain and make it less, I would have done it several months ago. On the 19th of November I made my appointment with my Neurologist. The one that treats me for my Fibromyalgia. Since I began seeing him, September 2007, this was the first visit to him that I was actually smiling. This was the first visit I was able to say, I feel good...and this was the first time he didn't want to see me back in 2 months. Instead he didn't want to see me back in his office for 6 months. That means I don't have to return until May 2009. The following day I returned to my surgeons office for my follow up appointment. He didn't want to see me back unless I had problems. Can you believe it??

I know living with Fibromyalgia can be a struggle and a challenge. There were days that were filled with darkness for me. There were days that I never thought I would feel good again and certainly never thought I would have pain free days. I have been so very ill since June 2007 and now I can see hope. I can see the sun shining through those dark clouds that use to consume my day. I can see the rain falling outside and it doesn't make me sad. I can live my life once again and not have to worry about pain. I can live life and not have to keep checking my purse to make sure I have my pain pills with me at all times.

Life is good once again! Don't give up!! Don't stop fighting for yourself!! If you struggle finding a doctor that is compassionate and understands Fibromyalgia, don't give up, keep fighting. Keep fighting for what you have the right to fight for. After all, WE ARE ALL WORTH IT!!!

Very Painful Day

Today the pain is severe. I struggle to even walk. Pain in my hips, my knees, my neck and shoulders. My entire body aching with flu like pain. When does it all end? Why has this happened to me? I push myself to even type today. It's a cold and rainy day here in Texas. The wind has a chill about it. The day is just gloomy and grey.

Days like this is really hard to keep my mind off my pain. Like I have posted here before, most people would just tell me to get up and get moving and you won't think about the pain. If I only wished it was that easy. Believe me, I would do it in a heartbeat to get rid of this pain. It's a pain like I have never had before. I refer to my aching pain as flu like. That's because it's the only way I can describe it. Think back to the worse flu you ever had. Do you remember the aches and pains that your body had during that time? That's just how I feel on days like today. Other days the pain is still there, it's just the pain isn't as severe as days like this. It's so hard to get warm. My body has changed in so many ways, I really don't even know where to begin to explain the changes.

I am thankful and feel blessed for the other things in my life that doesn't involve the pain. Like my husband. Without my husband, I don't know where I would be. He supports me through my pain and does things for me without being asked. He accepts my bad days, but looks forward to my good ones as well. I have two wonderful kids who have their own families now. They understand some of what I go through, but they don't really see me at my worst. My support also comes from the online fibro support group I found on line about a year ago when I was diagnosed. The people there have been so supportive and encouraging when I am down. They lift me up when I am sad, they laugh when I laugh and cry when I cry. I am so very blessed for everyone who at least tries to understand this beast called Fibromyalgia.

I know one day I will be back in the work force pulling my own weight. Actually, I look forward to those days more than people really know. I will soon have another grand baby come late March. I am so excited about the new arrival. Katie Bug is growing so big and is now walking. She has been a true inspiration to me during this past year. Although I am not able to get her unless Jeff is here with me, I cherish those moments each time she is with us.

I hope each of you have a pain free day. Enjoy the days you have, the health you are blessed with, the friends that you cherish. We are not promised a tomorrow so make memories today that will carry on through a lifetime. God Bless Each of You!!!

Cold Front Came Through

I have struggled so much the past couple of days with this beast called Fibromyalgia. The pain has been from my neck down to my knees and everywhere in between. My shoulders burn with pain, my neck so stiff it's hard to turn. My hips can't seem to move and my knees hurt as if something is keeping them from bending.

The struggles have been hard. It's brought on by the change in the weather, good or bad. This time, it was a cold front that came through East Texas. The day before and the day after are always so very hard. The barometer change, changes my life maybe only briefly, but it's a change. It was so very hard to get out of bed yesterday due to my pain. Today, only a small bit of relief is what I am feeling.

I hate what this disease has done to me, my body, my soul and my mind. My body, at times, feels as if I am 90 years old. My soul, broken at times due to the pain and the inability of not being able to do what I enjoy. My mind, because of the fibro fog that I often have. The inability to remember things. The inability to recongize at times what I am doing or where I am. The inability to be in large groups of people. The thought of having a panic or anxiety attack.

It's hard not only on me, but on my family. I know they don't fully understand this disease, I know they never really will. No one knows the pain and suffering everyone with fibormyalgia goes through unless they experience it first hand. I see the look in their eyes at times saying, "just get out of the house" "get up and do something" I see that look, I know that look too well. But, until they have walked in my shoes, felt the pain that I feel, have the fear that I feel, they will never truly understand what I live with every single day of my life!

Still Learning to Cope

I still find myself learning to cope with this fibro beast. Some days harder than others but everyday is filled with some type of pain. Maybe in the same place may the pain has moved. But, the pain is still there, it still lingers and it won't let me go!

I've learned that each day is a challenge, but each day is a new beginning for me. I have re-learned how to do things, like work in the yard, cleaning the house. Things that "normal" people take for granted. Not that "normal" people don't appreciate the things they can do, it's just that when someone has an illness, it's always a challenge to do even the smallest of things. So, I learn, I listen and I watch.

My biggest challenge is learning how to play with my precious grand daughter, Katie. She is my inspiration, my sunshine my life. She has brought me so much joy in the short time she has been on this Earth. I know she came as a gift from God. She came at a time when I was newly diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and still grieving for my best friend of 30 plus years who died last year. I know she was sent by God to help me cope, to help me understand life again, to help me appreciate the small things in life again.

I have struggled for years with issues that many don't know about and will never know about. This year I have regained my strength, taking control back of my life and just enjoying the small things in life. I love life again and it's all because of God. I have renewed my commitment to God and let me tell you, it's a wonderful feeling! It's a feeling of understanding God's creation and having a deep appreciation of it.

October 31st I had back surgery. I arrived back home on Saturday and I already feel better than I have in a while. My husband has been wonderful and taking care of me. He makes sure I have what I need or what I want. He has cooked, cleaned and done laundry. He is just awesome!! I have also been surrounded by family and friends who love me as well. My sister's and brother have called to say hello and ask if I need anything. My best friend has called and stopped by the hospital to see if I needed anything. I am so very blessed having such wonderful people around me. I no longer feel empty inside, I have the feeling of life deep within me that I know will never ever go away. I have given God all of my troubles and worries and my load is no longer heavy. I appreciate the small things in life. The flowers are beautiful, the birds sing louder and the sun is so much brighter.

I am becoming involved with my Church more. My first event was at the Fall Festival and what a wonderful fellowship!!! I am also attending Sunday School now and I just can't say enough about it. I know this is where I should be, where I belong, where I will do God's will. I missed Sunday School and Church Services this past Sunday because of my surgery, but I will return next weekend. I feel so much more alive now, and having Fibromyalgia doesn't seem to be a problem for me to cope with any longer. It's a horrible thing to have but with God all things are possible.

When you feel you can't do something because you are in pain, you have to still try. You can't give up, you can't let it win. You have to face this beast head on and deal with whatever you are dealt. Think outside the box for a change, you just might be pleasantly surprised with the outcome. Enjoy the little things in life today, for we are not promised a tomorrow. Ask God into your life and watch the change from deep within you. God will take all of your worries, your troubles, your fears and your dreams. Don't carry the load alone, for He is there waiting for you.

Has it been that long?

Wow! I see that my last blog was dated April 2008. I am so sorry!! Things have been up and down for this family, mainly me since April. Our precious grand daughter is fast approaching 9 months old and next March she will be greeted with a new baby brother or sister. Katie Bug is not only crawling at the speed of light now, but she is pulling up on everything she possibly can. When she is with me I have to baracade her from the kitchen and close all the doors in the hallway. She is just into everything and at times can be more than I can handle. I was just looking and I don't have any of her pictures uploaded to my computer so I am really behind on things.

Their wedding was beautiful! It was set at a Country Club just South of Gladewater and was at pool side with reception inside the club house. It was the most beautiful wedding I have ever seen. Amy left no detail out when it came to their wedding.

Our kids are doing well for themselves and we are so very proud of both of them. Bubba got married on June 28th to a wonderful and sweet young lady from Gladewater. She is a first grade teacher at Gay Avenue Elementary in Gladewater and Bubba is still driving those big trucks and hauling mud to oil rigs. He stays really busy and I can't remember the last time he was off work. They have purchased a cute house in Gladewater and from the time they bought it they have made many improvements to it.

Their wedding was beautiful! It was set at a Country Club just South of Gladewater and was at pool side with the reception in the club house. It was the most beautiful wedding I have ever seen. Amy left no detail out when it came to their wedding.

Jennifer was a bridesmaid and she was just beautiful all dressed up! Bubba's Uncle Doyle was best man and you know, he cleans up pretty well! ha!!! It was just a precious time and yes, I cried like a leaky water hose okay???? Not that there's anything wrong with that!!! I am just so thankful that they have found each other and their love is strong and I know will help them to overcome any problems they may face down the road. It's so refreshing to see people in love. Bubba and Amy will be blessed with many years of happiness and I will be blessed with more grandchildren. Don't you think they will have some beautiful children? Look at them, Bubba is so handsome and Amy is so beautiful!!

Tomorrow all of us "girls" in this family are going out to eat! Yep, this town will never be the same again. It's myself, Donna, Pam, Shawn, Jennifer, Amy and her mom Nancy. We are all ganging up on Gladewater and are going out to eat and just have a pow wow of sorts! It's going to be just great!!

As I am writing here I will be adding pictures of Amy and Bubba's wedding along the way. I know the picture will not match the topic but at least you won't think I am any crazier than I already am!

Don't these two just look like they are telling secrets? We are blessed with two wonderful kids and for that I am so very thankful for. Jennifer and Michael are still living in Tyler and are doing well. They will be bringing another wonderful grand baby into the world in late March/early April and I just can't wait. I know this one will be just a beautiful as Katie Bug. Micheal is still working with Apex, I think that's the name of it. They go out and test soil samples before anything is built on the site. He is always looking to improve their lives and has obtained his CDL license. The job he is with now takes him out of town for the week and it just gets lonely for Jennifer. And when the new baby is here she will need some releif at night.

As for Jeff he is still with Delek Oil and Gas Refinery in Tyler where he works as an electrician. I hate him working there. Anything could happen at any moment. Last night I found out they had an acid spill and the affects were felt through the plant. It was inhaled my many including my husband and he has complained with a sore throat. It's just a very dangerous place to be at any given time. He is trying to move up in the company so he doesn't have to work so hard. In June the company sent him to West Virginia for 2 days to look at some equipment they may be purchasing. Jeff will be the one to hook it all up and has to understand how it works inside and out. It's very stressful for him and for me since I worry like I do. This month, August 18-20th they are sending him to I believe Illinois. My memory just isn't what it use to be with this fibromyalgia! There he will see another piece of equipment and basically have to learn it inside and out. Jeff hates to fly and I hate him traveling but I guess it's okay. His work is helping to pay our bills! ha!!

I am still suffering with Fibromyalgia everyday and somedays are worse than others. Everyday I have pain throughout my entire body, but I manage to get through it. I have been placed on Lyrica which is a Gods send for me. I have missed one dosage of my medication and boy, did I pay for that. I hurt so bad that all I wanted to do was lay in bed and cry because the pain was so extreme. I don't wish Fibromyalgia on anyone!!! My last visit with my Neurologist was such a downer for me. When I made it back to my car I sat there and cried. I had asked him how much longer he felt I would be unable to work and he said, "No way, No how!" He told me that I needed to pursue my SSI benefits aggressivly and that he would do anything he possible could to help me with that process. He wrote a letter to Allsup, who is helping me obtain my benefits, and stated that I suffered from severe Fibromyalgia and due to the severe pain that I suffered I would not be able to hold a job of any sort. I cried because I have always worked and I worked very hard at whatever job I was doing. I have never had to "depend" on anyone to take care of me except me! Now, I have to fight to receive the benefits that I so despartly need. I have been turned down twice and was even told by SS that I was able to return to my old job as a security job at UT. In other words, they didn't believe I was sick enough not to work. Fibromyagia also makes my hands and feet fall asleep and my sleep is distrubed all during the night so I never ever get up feeling rested. I get up tired and usually early morning like 4am and I feel like crap! I also have suffered with severe back problems which seem to be improving. However the 2 herniated disc in my neck have been bothering me and I really don't want to take anymore shots. The shots have not worked and have only helped to put weight on me when I didn't need anymore weight put on me. I was sent to see a Neuro Surgeon after my Neurologist discovered on my last MRI that I have a herniated disc in my T7/T8 area and it's pressing on my spinal cord and pushing out towards my back bone. I met with him and he said that it's not bad enough to operate and he wants me to have another MRI done in December to see if there are any changes or improvments to the disc. I don't think he will find improvement and I really think I may need to go see him again since I am having electric shock sensations going from that spot down my spine and I am noticing pain in that area that I haven't had before. I guess I am just not ready to do anything yet, but will before long since December is fast approaching and all of my deductibles are met. He described the surgery to me and it just sounds so painful!! I just can't go into something like that knowing what he would do to me, but I know it would help my back!!
This picture is of Jeff, me and my sister Donna! She has done wonders with losing weight with weight watchers and I am so very proud of her.

My sister Pam was with her mother in law Nellie coming back from shopping in Shreveport on day in June and while they were stopped on I-20 waiting for a wreck in front of them to clear up, they were rear ended by a vehicle that was still traveling at a high rate of speed. It was a violent hit, but they were transported to the hospital and was released the same night. Nellie is suffering from severe whiplash and is seeing a pain doctor and doing physical therapy. Pam has been having numbness and tingling in her right arm and the MRI that was done this week showed a buldging disc in her neck that is pressing on her spinal cord. She is scheduled to see a Neuro Surgeon next month to see what can be done.

My brother Ronnie and his wife Shawn have sold their home and are in the process of building a new one closer to her parents home since her Dad is in really bad health. They are pouring the foundation tomorrow and the framing should begin on Wednesday next week. I know they will be glad to get into their new home soon!

I hope this finds everyone well!! I love each of you!!! I also have a myspace account and you can see more pictures and more blog postings there. It is http://www.myspace.com/debrabunt

ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fibromyalgia...Why Me?

I am 43 years old and the Fall of 2007 I was diagnoised with Fibromyalgia. I guess it was good news coming at the time cause up until that point no one could tell me what was wrong with me. I knew something was wrong! I hurt everyday, had problems with my balance, extremely dizzzy, my thinking and I was in pain but at the point that I really didn't think anyone was believing me.



It all started for me on June 20, 2007. It was my weekend from my job and I felt really bad. I made my way to the grocery store and there it began to get worse. I was confused and felt as if I was going to pass out. I called my husband and I was taken to the emergency room where I worked at the time. I was admitted to the hospital. They ran several tests on me thinking it was my heart. I was released on Monday and told that I had virtigo and went 2 days later to an ENT. There I was put through yet more testing and they even requested an MRI. That was the beginning of my nightmare.



3 days after the MRI, my ENT called and said the radiologist found 2 small lesions on my brain and he suggested it could possibly be MS. I was terrified. I was then referred over to a Neurologist who, again ran more test! I had an MRI of my spine done and was found to have several herniated disc from my neck down to my behind. What was going on? Just a week ago, I felt great! I was working and very happy with my job, my home life, my kids and soon to be grand baby. Now, I am ill and can't work, somedays I just couldn't get out of bed. I have had an EMG and boy did that hurt! It was discovered that I had nerve damage from the herniated discs that lay in my spine. But yet I still had symptoms that could not be answered.



About 3 months pass and the Neurologists comes in and pokes on me and leaves the room and comes back in and says you have Fibromyalgia. Honestly I had no clue what he was saying. I had never heard of Fibormyalgia. He explained it too me and I was so relieved that I finally had a name to go with the pain I was experiencing everyday that I began to cry. It was such a relief to know what I had. I quickly began my own research and learned as much about this illness as possible.



I suffer so much each day that I still don't think some people understand. The pain is an achy pain as if I was coming down with the flu. During the times that I am not experiencing "flares" I still hurt with aches and pains each day. When the "flares" hit it's like a bomb has been dropped upon me and I don't even think about getting out of bed. It has caused me to isolate myself and I avoid activities that I once loved.



The Fibromyalgia commericals that I see on TV today I don't feel really deplicit the true Fibro patient. These commericals make it look like you get up in the morning, you take a pill and you are fine! That is so not right!!!! Sure, Lyricia does help ease some of the discomfort of this illness but it doesn't go away, it never goes away!!! But what do you do? They are promoting their medication for Fibro patients and Fibro patients are not fully represented in these commercials. It's a bad wrap!!



Why do people "assume" that if you are being treated for an illness you are well? If you are in a car wreck and hurt badly, you are being treated by a doctor and people know you are not well. It's the not being able to fully see the pain that gives Fibromyalgia patients a bad wrap. You really can't see our pain, but it is real! YOU can't feel our pain, but it is there!! YOU can't see our pain deep within our souls, but it's something that ALL Fibromyalgia patients deal with daily.



Who gets Fibromyalgia? Anyone! It doesn't discriminate because of color, religion or age. It is real and it is painful. It can destroy many lifes, not only the fibro patient but the lives of families. Kids don't understand why you can't attend a school function. People don't understand why you don't get out more and do things like before. Somedays it's just a struggle to get out of bed. There's no magic cure or magic pill it's just there every minute of every waking day and every minute of every waking night you can't sleep because the pain is just so bad.



Next time you get that hug from your child, your spouse, your grandchild or your best friend, cherish that. Most fibro patients can't get those hugs of comfort or joy. Sometimes just a pat on the back can cause such pain.